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alas... i have to face reality
Monday, October 08, 2007 at 9:38 PM

I was so looking forward to going home today... to meet her.. to have dinner with her..
and then i realised, that we were no longer together. No longer possible to be intimate, No longer possible to love, No longer possible to enjoy each others company, No longer a couple.

I felt gloomy immediately during the Econs lecture. My mood changed in the blink of an eye. I tried to hide it, but i could not. I was unable to resist shedding a tear. My eyes became watery. I blinked, and a tear streamed down from eyes to my lips. I tasted it - it was bitter, it felt horrible, depressing, suicidal. I told my friends I yawned.

Class ended and all of us parted our separate ways. I walked alone towards the bus stop. So lonely, heart aching, eyes fighting hard not to cry. I feel so weak, so useless, so helpless, so 'sian'. The bus ride to the MRT seemed to take forever. Everytime i ride on the bus, i'm all alone in my sit. The special person is no longer there. I miss her dearly.

I reached home and locked my door. Hid myself under the pillow for a good cry. It was long...It felt good... nothing better than a good cry and let it all out...I'm back on my computer, studying...

I will do my best to get through this. I will stand tall. I will be stronger. I've learnt so much, the irony here is, I only begin to learn; when it's over.


Utada Hikaru - First Love.

I'll play for you.