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another day has passed..
Tuesday, October 02, 2007 at 12:03 AM

Everyday, i wake up with tears in my eyes. I hope they were the tears from the night before, but i'm not sure. Crying myself to sleep seems to be the only way to sleep now, i want it to stop.

I wish i could be like other guys, who can move on the next day after a break up. I wish i could be like them who do not feel anything after break ups. I know it's heartless but i think it's better than feeling like this. I know it's selfish but I'd rather survive. I'm human after all.

I wish for so many things... I wish the number 23 did not exist...


Many of my friends tell me to move on.. I have been trying to move on for my sake. I feel so shitty, is this what she had been feeling all these years without me realising?...Is this?

I wouldn't know, and will never know anymore..

How could i have taken someone so dear to me for granted. How? It's quite pointless asking now, but still.. how? I guess i was too self-centered without realising it. I have very bad perception.

I don't know why but tears would just start rolling down from my eyes out of the blue. It's so hard to conceal it from people. Best way i've found is to laugh and pretend that it's just tears of joy. 2 of my classmates have been very accommodating to the kind of shit group work i've been submitting, though i think i have to buck up soon before they run out of patience..

Time heals all wounds, Time changes people... what does the future hold for me?

2007, has been the worse year for me so far..

My leave in the army got burnt, couldn't study well, failed my driving test, submitted a blank sheet of paper during my test and someone very dear to me has left...

I know they aren't much compared to what is happening around the world...

Oh well... only thing i'm trying to do now i just encase my heart in ice. I feel that is the only way for someone as emotional as me to move on...

fuck.

I'll play for you.